Making your club more Join-able ...

I've been following Scott Ginsberg's blog for many years and he recently posted the video below. It was originally given to the Optimist International organization, but I think the topic of Join-ability is a good one for Toastmasters as well

Note: Scott's "claim to fame" is that he always wears a nametag and he has built a speaking & writing career out of the topic of "Approachability". In fact, his blog is called, "Hello, my name is.." blog.

Taking on [Tabletopic] Questions

Two recent articles (1) (2)by Scott Ginsberg, "The Name Tag Guy" or "Mr.Approachability", provided some great hints that you could use in your next meeting during Table Topics.

Here are his 10 ideas for responding to questions ...

1. “Well, there are a couple of answers to that question.”

2. “Well, that depends on how you define the word ‘x.’”

3. Word distinction ... between two commonly confused or misused words.

4. Pause.

5. “Well, let’s take that in pieces...”

6. Reverse the question.

7. “You know, I’d really have to think about that.”

8. "It doesn’t matter.”

9. “OK, well, that’s really THREE questions…”

10. I don’t know.

Since there is probably a TableTopic question in your near future, you might want to check out Scott's articles !

Article 1 (items 1-5)
Article 2 (items 6-10)

Overcommunication???? At Toastmasters????

When I saw this post (click here) titled "7 ways to Overcommunicate Anything" over at Scott Ginsberg's blog, I couldn't help but ask myself, "Could that ever apply to a Toastmaster?!?"

We focus so much on improving our communication, it makes sense that we might sometimes "overshoot the mark" and continue communicating beyond the point when we are either effective ... or appreciated.

I have often told other Toastmasters that I am surprised that we don't get more people in Toastmasters who "just like to hear themselves talk"... you know the type... it is all about them and they are just waiting for an opportunity to talk (and not really listening). You would think that Toastmasters would be like honey to the bee for these types of speakers, but there are actually very few of them (in my experience) in Toastmasters.

Maybe it is like that joke... there is one in every crowd, and if you look around and don't see one... maybe it is you.

And I have to admit... I'm sure I fall into that trap... especially when I get really enthusiastic about some aspect of Toastmasters! (Editor's Note: Toastmasters are generally pretty forgiving on this fault!)

But, back to Scott's article... some of the things he points out...

You can talk too much.
Which means you’re not listening that much.

You can listen too actively.
Which comes off as annoying and fake.

You can ask too many questions.
Which turns you into an interrogator.

You can violate someone’s boundaries.
Which makes them feel uncomfortable.

Something to think about .... and something that can make you an even more effective communicator !

The other side of speaking.... Listening!

Scott Ginsberg (the nametag guy & approachability expert) had an interesting post about "Listening" that could be valuable for Toastmasters.

Have you ever considered how the other person in the conversation feels when you are talking? What are you thinking when they are talking?

Scott's article provides 8 practices to help you avoid "Conversational Narcissm" or being more into yourself instead of really listening to, and relating to, the other person. Below are an abridged version of his 8 practices ...

1. Watch your intent. First, beware of listening for selfish reasons.

2. Switch the spotlight. Give THEM the glory. REMEMBER: Listening isn’t about you. And your words need to reinforce that principle.

3. Silently check yourself. In the back of your mind (while still
listening, of course), find a way to keep yourself accountable.

4. Don’t add too much value. Trust in your ability to add value AFTER (not during) the listening process. Resist the temptation to hijack the conversation by matching or one-upping people’s points, or by trying to solve the problem too quickly.

5. Open the space. Part of your role as the listener is to make room (both physically and emotionally) in the conversation. Your best practice for this principle is the strategic use of silence. This lets the other person fill in the empty spaces AND enables him to set the pace of the conversation. ... And
“silence is golden” because it helps the other person articulate their most precious emotions. So, your goal is to become more comfortable with silence.

6. Be mindful of ownership. Don’t take over people’s problems. That’s not your job.

7. Listening is NOT a performance. Listening is about temporarily suspending your need for self-expression. So, don’t use what people say as triggers for your own jokes. Listening takes, among many things, self-control. One of my favorite rules is: Acknowledge, then shut up! SO REMEMBER: Take in;
don’t take over.

8. Recognize and return. Notwithstanding the first seven suggestions on this list, it’s still nearly impossible to avoid ALL traces of conversational narcissism. So, the secret is to recognize when you feel yourself being pulled
into narcissistic territory. That way you can correct it, then pass the conversation back to the other person.

.... Start growing bigger ears today!

Scott's full article has a number of great examples for each of the 8 steps and it can give Toastmasters another perspective... the perspective of the "audience" when you are having a conversation !